April 6th, 2022

Ahh today I have to go out, me and my boyfriend are meeting up with his uni buddies. They're really excited to see me which is cool I guess. We're going to some hamburger place. I hope my newly found distaste for beef doesn't ruin the experience. I'm so glad my boyfriend hates social interactions as much as I do, so we don't do things like these too often. God bless. Yesterday I made some nice food. I don't think I ever talked about it here but I genuinely never cooked much before. Back at home I'd have this massive cooking anxiety because my parents (especially my dad) would always loom over me the moment I'd enter the kitchen. It's why I literally never cooked anything. The moment I start heating up water even, he's there looking at me in an almost ridiculing way, looking to criticize me. Hell once, I was making coffee (!!!) which admittedly is not something I do often as I'm more of a tea person. But anyway, I was making turkish coffee in a specific way where you first put the coffee in cold water in the cezve and then you heat it up but don't let it boil. It's a legit way of making coffee and me and my friends even talked about it (why am I justifying myself lmao). Anyway, people here usually put the coffee when the water is hot and then they mix it, my dad being one of those people. But the trick for this coffee is to not mix it, and let the coffee fall down while it's heating up. Anyway! He saw me doing this and immediately started criticzing me and questioning what I'm doing. It upsets me so much. My mom had to defend me lmao. It's just annoying to have every action of yours picked apart. And usually I'm all for learning and being critiqued but something about the kitchen makes me into a rabid beast that just wants to be left alone. I dont even let my mom help me, who I love so much and I know she'd do a great job of instructing me and helping me. The reason for that is different though, while she doesn't make me feel ridiculed, she makes me feel vastly inferior in skill and I'm scared of disappointing her even though I know cooking together with her would make her immensely happy. I just can't bring myself to it. It's weird, in the kitchen I'm truly a different person. I do enjoy baking together with her, especially gingerbread cookies. It's always a fun time. Speaking of baking, I made these brownies. Thanks kalechips for the recipe! I actually just made the brownies part because I was way too lazy to go to the store for the pecans (it's already almost 30 degrees here during the day...), but now that I figured out the browny part I'll make them fully next time. They turned out really nice even though I didn't have an appropriate baking pan for it (didn't think about that lol). The dough was thick enough to stand on its own in this large cake baking pan I had. Sometimes I forget I don't have all the necessary cooking supplies since we just moved here. Next time I'll just make double the amount. All in all though they turned out tasty but there's just this one thing I have a problem with, unrelated to the recipe. I encountered this when I made pancakes too. Both of these things tasted a tad.. soapy? And when I made the pancakes I thought, holy shit, I must have not washed the dishes properly or something. But I did, and I made sure to wash them extra good this time too so I'm starting to think it's the flour maybe? Or even the eggs? God knows, but it tastes ever so slightly soapy. I googled it a bit and I only got results from people talking about almond flour tasting soapy, but I'm pretty sure this isn't almond flour. Strange! Maybe something about the wheat here is different, and it's a taste I'm not used to. Truly after a few brownies I lost the soapy taste so it's probably that. Anyway, time to go get ready, before we meet up with my bfs friends (at 8:30 pm) I want to go to this huge mall. Alone!! Exciting... I need to look if they have any Birkenstocks on sale because me and my mom are buying my sister a pair for her birthday.

April 4th, 2022

Days are passing by just too fast. I had SO many things going through my head that I have to write down and now I just blanked out. We bought a little induction heater. Getting used to it is kind of annoying, it heats up fast which is great but the heat settings make no sense. Medium seems like high to me lol. At least I made a really nice stir fry yesterday and I'll probably have enough for 3 days with the amount I made hell yeah. I'm back to playing sims 4 again and downloading ungodly amounts of cc. I really need to clean up my mod folder, there's too much shit in there. We also made pancakes. Took us around 4 failed ones - 2 completely obliterated and 2 pancakes that were too thick to get the gist of it. I think the pan is not shallow enough and the pancakes end up being too thick, idk. I never had this problem at home. The later ones turned out alright though. On friday we went to a really popular mall in the area and it's full of these little.. anime shops? It's weird how full of weebs this place is. Anyway I bought some stickers for my laptop because why not. They didn't really have a great selection of series to choose from, it's mostly post 2014 stuff and I felt so old when I looked at that little corner with tons of stickers sorted in their respective baskets. But also, zoomers really seem to love Soul Eater. It was my first anime (that I didn't watch on tv as a kid) and out of all things I didn't really expect it to have such a big resurgence in popularity among teens. I tried rewatching it recently and I really found the amount of fanservice a tad too much. To think that I watched it with my mom... Soul eater has a gnc ~nonbinary~ character though so I know that's why all the woke zoomies love it, despite the fanservice. Generally, from what I see on zoomer adjacent spaces, teens really have questionable taste in anime that usually goes against what they stand for, politically. They're going to scream "don't fetishize gay men!!! disgusting fujos!!!!!" but then they'll watch some braindead coomer shit like kakegurui where female characters are creaming themselves on screen at least 3 times an episode. Stuff like that, I see it a lot. Another funny thing in that shop, you know which character is the most popular when they're missing from the stickers basket. In the Mob Psycho basket I couldn't find a single Reigen sticker, in the Soul Eater one there was no Crona or Death the Kid. I wonder how often they restock those.
In more normie related news, I finally finished The Office. Don't read if you don't want spoilers btw lmao. I remember mentioning here I started watching it, ah I found it, I started watching it in November. Took us a while to finish it. Anyway they really ramped up the emotional part in the last season, to the point where it was a bit annoying. 9 seasons later I still didn't really care about Jim and Pam. Idk, they're just so boring. The forced drama with the crew member? It went nowhere. I'm glad my girl Angela got a good ending. She was the most entertaining character to me. Even though Michael as a character got on my nerves it's kind of weird he only had two very quiet and peaceful sentences in the last episode after being gone for what, 2 seasons? Kind of disappointing really. Oh and Andy, he was my most hated character when he first appeared. And he kind of stayed that way until the end of the show. I don't know, it seems like nobody knew what to do with his character. When he was just starting out as manager he was even a little likeable, but then it went to shit when he went on that long ass trip after he just got back with Erin??? It's just so nonsensical. And how he became more "stern" towards everyone else but not himself? Something strange was going on with him as a character and I didn't really like it. He went through most abrupt changes as a person which almost comes across as him being the main character at times. Everyone else kiiind of stayed a constant. Anyway, the show was enjoyable and fun, I'm not the one to care too much about the dramatic parts apart from few characters. The first three seasons were indeed the best, but the remainder wasn't so bad either. At the point where the comedy gets worse you're kind of emotionally attached to some of the characters so it kind of makes up for it... sneaky.
Also, I want to write about my weird digestive problems ever since I moved here. I'm not sure if it's birth control or what but I don't have an appetite for red meat anymore. So fucking weird?? Thinking of beef just makes me go :| and I don't want to try it at all. All I eat is chicken and fish. We went to some nice barbecue place with really tasty meat and while I could recognise it as good meat I just didn't have an appetite for it. I used to be the biggest meat eater, I feel like I'm turning into some soon to be vegan diet mom lmao. TMI: poop? Also, instead of pooping once a day I poop every other day two times in the morning. Weird!!! I hate when my stomach is unpredictable like this, I'm always scared to try different foods from what I'm used to out of fear of having diarrhea or just an upset stomach, which seems to be happening an awful lot lately. Also, I can't stand cilantro. If we happen to eat out everything has fucking cilantro and turmeric in it aHHHH STOP. I miss parsley. Which is why I'm so happy to have an induction heater and a little toaster oven. Eating out is like playing russian roulette where the food either tastes like food, or like cilantro lmao. I didn't think I'd be the type to go "cilantro eww" but I guess I am. Disappointed by my palate!!! Wish I could just gobble it all up.
Another weird issue, my skin is breaking out!! I'm on the week of birth control when I'm supposed to get my period and while it's normal for me to get a pimple or two, I got like a whole ass cluster on two spots and it looks horrible. I'm seriously thinking of never taking bc pills again and talking about alternatives with my gynecologist. Can't wait for that non-hormonal perfect male bc to come out already. Of course men will get the pill with no side effects :). I might just look into getting a copper IUD...
Since I'm writing this entry over two days, another thing has happened. Our apartment is split into two and we got a neighbour in the other one now. He seems to be a youngish guy (I couldn't see his face because I had no glasses on). I hope we won't be an annoyance to him.