Go back

October 22nd, 2021

I don't know what it is but I've been feeling extra lethargic for the past week. I made 0 progress on the site I'm working on but at least I found a company to host the servers on I guess. It annoyed me a tad that my aunt said that will be taken care of but I had to do it anyway. It's fine I'll get paid for it so I don't care that much, and I got some experience with web hosting I suppose. I'm also having the usual problems with uni and enrollment, I don't even want to type it out because I'll just get stressed. Maybe after that passes I'll go back to my girlbossing. Two weeks ago I ordered clothes from a japanese second hand store that was closing down so they're having a sale, shout out to teddybear-halo because that's where I got the info from. It arrived today morning, and the clothes fit perfectly. I was afraid they wouldn't because I'm 175cm (5'9'') and not exactly petite. I do wear size xs/s shirts somehow but my shoulders are pretty wide so I always stayed away from j-fashion even though it was my teenage dream to wear classic lolita lol. Anyway the dress I bought is really casual, along with the skirt too so they fit into my current wardrobe seamlessly. The necklace is wonderful as well and I'm really happy with the quality of the clothes. It feels like I'm so used to fast fashion brands that anything slightly higher quality has me shocked, like, wow, the weight of the materials! Now that my japanese second hand store cherry has been popped, I might fuck around and order some clothes again in the future. My biggest fear was the sizing. And also taxes and all other fees.

October 18th, 2021

I've been working a bit over the weekend which immediately means I don't really do anything else worthwhile. I started reading some manga to see what the hype is about and it's fine so far. Random internet thing, Shadmans face got leaked. I don't know why I'm writing about a pedo coomer edgelord artist but he's been a pretty controversial figure for a while now, and last I heard he got addicted to heroin and he became very anti.. porn? Or something? I never really followed his antics closely. Anyway his face got leaked and he looks pretty... regular. Like a normal dude. But a ton of people are saying "ew what a repulsive creature". I don't like when people lie (?) about finding somebody completely repulsive if they're a disgusting person on the inside. People do that with obnoxious celebrities a lot. On one hand I get how somebodies actions could affect the way you perceive them physically but at the same time I think it's a bit fake to jump at somebodies appearance instead of just criticizing their actions y'know? Of course, fawning over physically hot serial killers is very disrespectful imo I don't think that you should have a need to comment on their physical appearance at all especially if they're regular looking. They're just Some Dude a lot of times. I'll never understand serial killer stans. But on the other hand I do sometimes have an irresistible urge to punch someone for no reason just because of the way their face looks, however I don't think this is related to this specific topic. Corpse husbands face leak though... he does look a bit unfortunate. But I expected as much, his fans hype up his appearance so much they set up incredibly high expectations for his appearance. He's a bit of a weird person, I feel like he's larping about having a million illnesses to sell some kind of a vulnerable eboy persona to his underage fans. And the creepy song lyrics oh god. Dude has major creep vibes. Going back to punchable faces for no reason, for me it's Shailene Woodley. She looks normal and her movie roles are nothing too special but there's just something about her face. Some kind of a smug vibe? Oh and her role in the game of thrones as the most beautiful woman ever or something. She's so average looking, and I don't mean this in a bad way, but she's not a magical etheral beauty and that's the impression I got from the way people described her character. Anyway, more people invoke that feeling in me than I'd like to admit, but I can't think of any other examples at the moment. Poor Shailene is always the first that pops up in my mind.

October 15th, 2021

Busy week!! My first day as a TA in the Web Design class was on Wednesday. It was an interesting experience, I wasn't really nervous at all. The subject is really entry level so I don't need to prepare for it. I think I'm going to enjoy this. I helped a lot of students, however I noticed I'm a bit impatient. I'd rather take their mouse in my hand and show them where to do something then wait for them to do it on their own. I think I should work on that. I never saw myself as a teacher really, but I don't think I'd do a terrible job at it either. My sister came home and she'll be staying for 4 days. I want to hang out with her a bit. I'm watching an interesting anime and I can't wait to write a review on it once I'm done. I also had a strange dream last night. The setting is a reocurring once it seems. This is the second time I dreamt about a really large residential building, with half-working elevators. The first time I dreamt about it I lived in a big spacious white apartment and I was hiding away from some like.. street hooligans. The building was so large it had parks on it and I remember standing there and admiring the view. This time around I lived in a tiny apartment and it overlooked a very pretty beach and the town it was in was the capital of my country (it has no beaches lol) but at the same time I knew it was located in Japan?? Anyway I was chilling on the balcony and then I decided to go to the top of the building which had a whole street on it. The dream sounds really lame when I write it down but I like reocurring themes in my dreams.

October 9th, 2021

Ahh that cursed site is just making me angry again. Time to whine about teenagers again. So this happened in an extremely woke space where you can't have an avatar with a different skintone from you irl, where you can't wear albino skins if you're not black, where you can't wear a fat skin if you're not fat, where you can have alt accounts for your "alters" which is nowadays an extremely common condition, where tone tags are encouraged to be used all the time for autists, where you have a pronoun bar that has to be completely accessible for blind people with screen readers (blind people playing a dressup game with a forum lol), where "transphobes" that don't understand neopronouns are the biggest enemy to mankind - nevermind the rampant pedophilia with all the age regressors looking for "daddies", where 90% of the userbase is trans and "nonhuman", where you can't say "hella" if you're not black (rip to all nonblack californians!). With all of this in mind there's one type of display of mental illness that really isn't tolerated which is frankly surprising - anorexia. Now, I always disliked proana spaces for obvious reasons, but I can't blame mentally ill teens for getting sucked into them. After all we're bombarded by fucked up beauty standards and it's almost inevitable that a teenage girl will start hating her changing body in some way shape or form. I can't hate them for their own illness. So a girl made a thread saying "I heard avatars on this site are great for thinspo!" and people absolutely flamed her. However, the moment people criticized her she deleted the thread. She apologized and said she thought people on the site are more accepting towards thinspo and proana bullshit because proana twitter loves to romantizicize avis from that site. She said she was mentally ill and stopped replying. I don't condone her actions and I hate proana tards but the girl is clearly not right. At least she did the right thing and deleted the thread immediately, she clearly didn't want to expose people to her proana shit if they didn't want to see it. Despite that, people made threads about her - exposing her condition to others, and they mocked her and criticized her. Stating multiple times she should gtfo. And so she got perma banned. How is she any different from "nonhumans" that hate to be "reality checked"? Or from trans mascs excitedly squeeking about cutting their breasts off? Or from all the teens that suddenly developed tics and alters and openly talk about self-harming and wanting to kill themselves? It is weird to ignore harmful displays of mental illnesses of one kind, but the other kind has to be kept under covers and surpressed. Very strange. I'd expect this type of flaming from a less pc space of course, and frankly I wouldn't mind it! But when it's done by a group of overly righteous and socially sensitive teens it comes across as extremely hypocritical. They could've just told her this space didn't allowed for such topics and warned her.. but the pure anger felt uncalled for.

This meanie bigoted >:(( rant aside, finally after what feels like a long while I've been mostly stress free with a nice amount of free time. On Monday I went to get my piercing shortened and the whole ordeal was really entertaining. The girl that pierced me was also the one to shorten it, and when she was unscrewing the old piercing it fell into my nose LOL. So I had to blow it out - she seemed embarassed that it happened but frankly I just found it funny. Afterwards, when she was putting in the shorter piercing the long needle thing (?) she used to put it in somehow got stuck, I'm not really sure what that contraption was because it was out of focus for me - anyway it got stuck and she had to call the owner to help her unscrew it. So at one moment I had 4 hands over face and it felt like a weird surgery fever dream. She complimented my eye-makeup though! Later I found out we were born in the same year (and month too I think) which was cool. The owner has a really strange accent and I wonder where he's from. All in all I really like that place and if I ever get a piercing again - I'm going there. I hope she doesn't look back on this situation with too much cringe because I like the place and don't want her to feel too bad about it, it was really entertaining to me to say the least.

October 7th, 2021

I'm definitely a bit late with the layout this time, mostly because I've been pretty busy for the past week. I managed to get my work bully to piss off, I managed to talk to my boss about working less, I started working on that website I have to make, I met with my friends and I also got the courage to send an email to my aunt because she has to pay me for something I translated for her 2-3 years ago lol. I even got credited for the translations in the book she put out for the university she works in, feels pretty cool. Due to all that, life's been pretty busy. I still managed to play sims 4 of course. I finished watching Sonny Boy which I just fell in love with.. And I realized I haven't updated my sites "update" section for a long time. I'm just too lazy for that so I might scrap it. Or not. I should put all my review updates there otherwise it's hard to keep track of it. That's it for today, I've been doing too much girlbossing lately so I just want to go take a nap now.